Old man Bob was sitting calmly on a local park bench drinking his discount coffee when his good old friend Old man George comes wheezing up the trail waving his cane wildly in the air. He obviously had something important to tell his dear old friend.
“So did you hear about Jerry?” George wheezed, sitting down hard on the park bench and mopping his head with a bright red handkerchief.
“No,” Bob replied, setting down his coffee. “What happened?”
With an excited look on his face and a questionable look from his friend, George told Bob the exciting news that had been travelling around the Old folk’s home all morning.
“Apparently Jerry’s wife was cheating on him…”
“No way,” exclaimed Bob. “I didn’t know Jerry’s wife still had life in her that old cow. She seemed so….shriveled up.”
“Yeah, everyone else thought the same. But this time was different.”
“This time? You mean she’s done it more than once?”
“Yeah supposedly this has been going on for months.”
Bob gaped at George. It was impossible, he thought. Jerry must have overstocked his sleeping pills to be able to miss something that seemed so…obvious. It’s not every day that a woman of Jerry’s wife’s age could sneak around behind everyone’s backs. When did she have time between all her appointments and with all those watchful nurses around?
“So anyway,” George continued. “When Jerry caught her he went into a screaming rage.”
“Really? Usually that guy’s so relaxed.”
“I know eh?” George wheezed. “So anyway, he starts throwing chairs around the lunch room and is yelling his head off.”
“He didn’t hurt anyone did he? And he especially shouldn’t be throwing stuff around with that new hip replacement he had.”
“No, no. No one was hurt, and Jerry seemed fine. After his little episode he took his car keys from the nurse’s desk and left. Went to a pub downtown. Drunk his old ass off.”
“Oh boy, this is serious. That man hardly drinks at all. Must have been real upset.”
Bob ran his fingers through his gray hair and breathed a heavy sigh.
“Well,” sighed George. “How would you feel if you caught your wife in bed with your mistress?”